


Chase the dark clouds away

by thunderingskies



Series: I will love you through simple and the struggle [11]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 03:17:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11027484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderingskies/pseuds/thunderingskies
Summary: Tooru doesn't realize just how much Hajime sees.He sees when he's happy, when he's sad; when he's scared and when he's afraid.When Tooru needs him the most, Hajime is always there. He doesn't even need to ask.





	Chase the dark clouds away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [manicpation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/manicpation/gifts).



> Thank you Heather for encouraging me! Even when I'm being whiny and annoying, your sweet comments and helping me come up with prompts to write about is so helpful! I'm so happy to have you to talk with <3

The first thing Tooru sees when he wakes up his that all-too familiar pair of brown eyes.

He blinks slowly, his vision hazy. He reaches out to the side for his glasses, but they’re not where he usually leaves them on his nightstand. 

In fact... his nightstand isn’t where it usually is. What’s going on-

“Hey, Tooru. Here.” 

Hajime’s voice interrupts his train of thought, and he looks back up at his face. Tooru doesn’t need his glasses to see his favourite smile in the world. It lights up Hajime’s face, and Tooru nods and accepts them. He presses them up on his face, blinking a few times to get acclimatized.

He looks around at the white walls, white curtains, white bed sheets-

Oh,  _ right. _

He’s in the hospital. 

He gazes down at his leg, which is wrapped up tightly, elevated up off the bed. It doesn’t hurt, but the dull ache in his arm from the IV is probably to thank for that.

But… it’s okay.

Tooru looks up to see Hajime grinning down at him, standing just beside his bed. His best friend reaches for his hand, and their fingers press together with familiarity.

His hands are warm.

What’s he have to be scared of, when Hajime is right here with him?

“Hey…” Tooru starts, but his throat feels dry and scratchy. He swallows once, and tries again. “Hajime… hi.”

Hajime squeezes his hand. “Hey, sleepyhead. My mom told me you’ve been sleeping since your surgery.” Hajime brushes a hand through Tooru’s hair, which he’s sure is a mess, but the soft touch is welcome. Tooru doesn’t usually let him touch him like this - it’s too embarrassing, too  _ close _ , too soft - but he’s tired and compliant right now so he doesn’t fight it. Tooru closes his eyes and leans into it, so Hajime repeats the motion, soft and careful. “Have you seen the doctor yet? I should probably go get them-”

“No!” Tooru interrupts, tightening the grip on Hajime’s hand, opening his eyes again. “Don’t leave.” Hajime stares down at him, so Tooru continues. “Just… not yet, okay?”

“Okay.” Hajime offers him a smile. “How are you feeling?”

Tooru tries to shrug, but the motion proves a little harder than he’d thought. “I’m okay… it doesn’t really hurt yet.”

Hajime nods. “Mom said it went well.” He laughs, “that’s how she got me to go to school today. I brought your homework for you, too.”

Tooru makes a face at that. “Really?”

“Of course! You can’t get too far behind.” Hajime looks down, smiling shyly. “I also brought you some more stuff.” He lets go of Tooru’s hand, crouching down to grab his backpack and haul it on the bed. 

Tooru can’t help but smile. “You did?”

“Yeah.” Hajime unzips the backpack, reaching in and pulling out some folded up clothes. “I saw these at the store… and I know you like being comfy… and I still had some birthday money left...” He hands him the clothes, which Tooru unfolds shakily to find that they’re alien-patterned pajamas, black and green and all sorts of silly but so soft.

“Hajime…” Tooru’s voice is quiet, and soft. 

“Also… um, this…” Hajime quickly pulls out something wrapped up in a navy blue cloth. “My mom helped me… it isn’t perfect but I think it’ll taste okay…” 

Tooru unwraps it, and-

“You made me milkbread?” His smile grows wide, silly and toothy. Hajime hasn’t set foot in the kitchen since last spring when he set off the smoke detector making some toast.

“Yeah. Well, my mom helped. Oh - and there’s this.” He leaves Tooru’s homework on the side table for later and hands Tooru a light green envelope decorated with tiny hand-drawn volleyballs.

“What’s this?” Tooru asks, flipping it over.

“It’s from the team. Everyone signed - oh, and Makki decorated the envelope. Said it was too boring to have it just be green.” Hajime drops his backpack down on the floor, moving to sit on the bed next to Tooru.

And Tooru opens the card.

The outside of the card is a typical store-bought “get well” card, but the inside is absolutely covered in writing. Everyone from the team has signed the card - even the third years. There’s jokes lining the sides, Mattsun’s written an entire story about Makki tripping and landing on his face in the cafeteria, and then there’s Hajime’s  _ get well soon - the team isn’t the same without you _ .

Hajime just smiles softly and takes the card when Tooru can’t read anymore through the tears. He finishes the card for him, reading the rest out-loud for him, reminding him just how important he is.

Just how much the team relies on him.

Just how much  _ Hajime _ relies on him.

* * *

 

It’s been five years since that day and Tooru is no less calm when he has to go in for surgery.

It’s only a knee surgery, really - the doctors have assured him it’ll most likely be fine - he probably has nothing to worry about. He should be able to walk on it fine. There’s a good chance he won’t play any competitive volleyball again depending on how it works out, but,  _ it’s fine _ .

He told his mom  _ no, Mom, you don’t need to come visit, I’m fine. _

He’s told his friends  _ seriously, you don’t need to come check in on me - it’s a small thing! _

He even  _ tried  _ to tell Hajime that he didn’t need him to come over.

But, well, it seems like after all these years, one thing that has never faded is how well Hajime can read Tooru. So he still shows up after classes, a bag of takeout food in one hand, backpack in the other.

Tooru’s heart flips at the sight of him. Fucking traitor. 

“Hajime?” Tooru asks once he’s opened the door. He’s frowning, looking from Hajime’s face to the bag of food. “You didn’t have to-”

“-I wanted to,” Hajime cuts in with a shrug. He steps in and past Tooru, stepping out of his shoes and kicking them into the front closet like he lives here. “I went to that Thai place by my work that you like. That okay?”

Tooru nods slowly, following after Hajime when he makes his way to the living room, dropping himself down on the sofa. He wastes no time in pulling out containers of food, popping off the lids and filling Tooru’s apartment with this delicious aroma that makes Tooru realize how hungry he really is.

_ Oh, yeah. _ He’d skipped dinner.

“Yeah. It smells really good.” He sits himself down next to Hajime, who passes him some food and digs in.

The food is hot and tasty. It fills his stomach and helps take the edge off Tooru’s nerves. 

Hajime doesn’t rush him into conversation. Like always, he’s smart; he knows what Tooru’s thinking better than Tooru does most days, Tooru’s sure of this. He glances over a few times, but mainly just half-watches the nature documentary Tooru’s got playing on his television.

Tooru’s in the midst of a bite of pad thai when Hajime clears his throat and puts his food down on the table. “You know, I still remember when I went to see you the day before you went for your last surgery.”

Tooru swallows his bite, looking over a little surprised. “Really?” It was a really long time ago, and Tooru didn’t think-

“Mhm.” Hajime sits back on the couch, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah. I had dinner at your house, with your family, but my mom wouldn’t let me stay the night because you had to leave early for your surgery.”

“Oh… that’s right.” Tooru smiles at the memory, resting his plate on his lap. “I remember… Oh my god.” He stops to cover his face with his hands, blush covering his cheeks, “I’d almost forgotten about that. My mom had to pull you out after I’d fallen asleep, didn’t she?”

Hajime snorts with laughter. “She did. You were crying and clinging to me until you passed out, so she waited until then. I was not happy at all, but my mom had threatened me with everything she had if I didn’t come home. _ And _ she promised me she’d take me to see you the next day right after school… so I kinda had to.”

Tooru’s smile breaks and he laughs, still red. “And you really came. You brought me those alien pajamas… I wore those every night for the next week.”

“Oh I remember.” Hajime looks over with an incredulous look. “You stopped finally after I complained that you smelled like you’d been to war and back.”

“Well they were comfy!” Tooru moves his plate over to the table, not focused on eating any longer. Hajime’s got his attention now. “You brought me milkbread, too. When did you make that?”

“Oh, I woke up early before school. My mom helped me but she wasn’t too pleased about being dragged out of bed before the sun was up.”

“Before the sun?!” 

“Well I had to give myself enough time to make sure it was done right!” Hajime replies, “I was never good at cooking. You know that!”

“But you still made it for me.” Tooru looks down at his lap, feeling shy all of a sudden… vulnerable.

He remembers how scared he’d been and how Hajime had washed all that away with a touch, with his  _ voice _ . “And you brought me that card, too…” 

Hajime snorts and dispels Tooru’s thoughts. “Man, you cried so much that day.”

“Hey!” Tooru pouts and elbows him in the ribs, moving a little closer without really thinking about it. “I thought you’d come here so I  _ wouldn’t _ have to think about the other surgeries!”

“Oh, your last surgery wasn’t all that bad.” Hajime settles in next to him, reaching over to rest his hand on Tooru’s wrist. 

The weight is warm. Welcome.

Tooru’s stomach flips.

“You got to come home right away, and go back to practice not too long after. It was a small surgery… smaller than this one…” Hajime frowns, and his grip on Tooru’s wrist tightens.

“It’s not… it’s not that big…” Tooru says, but words keep twisting up in his throat and his thoughts are getting all fuzzy. Hajime’s close, he’s so close Tooru can  _ smell _ him, that deep scent of his mixed with that metallic auto shop smell and his body spray-

Hajime’s face twists. “I can’t lose you, Tooru… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Tooru’s head is spinning. “I’m not dying, Hajime! I’m gonna be fine.” 

He’s not scared, he’s not scared, he’s  _ not- _

Hajime goes very still, not moving for a moment. Slowly, he slides his hand down Tooru’s wrist, sending tiny shocks in it’s wake until their fingers touch. Tooru’s hand twitches underneath his before carefully, he laces their fingers together and squeezes tightly.

“You know…” Hajime’s voice drops, low and serious, “I spent that whole day during your last surgery anxious and afraid as to what would happen. I couldn’t be there in the hospital and I hated that so much, because that’s all that I wanted. This time… this time it’s even worse, because...  because…” 

“Because what?” Tooru swallows, his heart hammering around in his chest so hard it almost hurts.

“Because… shit, you know, I wanted to do this right? You deserve something cool and special, not just this, me dropping this on you because I’m scared and worried-”

“Hajime,” Tooru interrupts, “Hajime, you’re freaking me out-”

“I love you, Tooru. I fucking love you so much - I can’t believe I’ve gone so long without telling you that because I’ve wanted to, I’ve thought about it every day since we graduated, every time I see you, every time we play volleyball, and I just - I’m thinking about this surgery, and how scared I was back  _ then _ and now it just feels ten times worse because I love you and - shit, you’re not saying anything, I didn’t read all this wrong, did I?” 

Hajime’s voice trails off, nervous and afraid. Tooru’s heart is somewhere between his throat and his chest cavity as he processes, frozen, eyes welling up with tears before he even realizes what’s happening.

Hajime loves him? Loves  _ him? _ His needy best friend who is great at getting hurt, who doesn’t know his own limits, who makes Hajime sit around and watch shitty alien documentaries and go with him to the planetarium every year even though Hajime prefers the dinosaur exhibit? Hajime, who is strong and handsome and reliable, who always gives one-hundred percent no matter what?

_ He _ loves  _ him _ ?

“Tooru?” Hajime’s voice is soft, and he leans a little closer, lifting his free hand to brush away some tears with his thumb.

When did Tooru start crying?

“Hey, Tooru, it’s okay, you know-”

“ _ Hajime, _ ” Tooru whimpers between tears, trying to swallow down his sobs because he  _ needs _ to talk, “Hajime,  _ Hajime, _ I love you too-”

Hajime laughs, his voice warming up, body pressing closer. “Yeah, Tooru. I know.”

“ _ I love you, _ ” he repeats, laughing through his tears. Hajime wipes away more of his tears and when his vision clears up, he can see Hajime smiling at him, open and honest. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you,” Hajime says, letting go of his hand to pull him into a nice, tight hug. Tooru melts into it, throwing his arms around Hajime and squeezing so tightly, melting away his fears, his insecurities, his anxieties. 

Hajime’s always been his safe place, and he remembers-

With Hajime around, why feel so scared?

“I love you,” Tooru says again, because he wants to, and because he can. 

Hajime laughs. “I love you too,” he replies, leaning in close, pressing their foreheads together.

_ God, _ Tooru loves him so much.

Tooru opens his eyes, gaze meeting with Hajime’s, who is heavy with need and purpose. He swallows, licking his lips, watching how Hajime’s eyes trail the movement. 

This time, he takes the initiative. 

He leans in closer, brushing their noses together, breaths coming out long and slow. He can feel Hajime’s hands shake against him and remembers he’s not the only one who’s scared.

Hajime inhales sharply when Tooru kisses him, slow and shy at first. He presses their lips together gently, and with purpose; he moves slow, pulling back a little. He chuckles breathily when Hajime chases him, wanting more.

He’s happy to give it to him.

They kiss some more, gaining confidence, familiarizing themselves with each other. Hajime tastes smooth and rich and it reminds Tooru of everything Hajime makes him feel-

Accepted, loved.

Safe.

Hajime pulls him in nice and close and that’s how they stay for the entire night. And honestly? Tooru couldn’t have thought of a better way. 

* * *

 

When Tooru wakes up the next day following his surgery, it’s late. 

The curtains on the window next to his bed are drawn wide open, moonlight streaming in. He blinks a few times, giving himself a minute to adjust to his surroundings. 

He sees the blank, white walls, those white sheets, and-

Hajime.

He’s lying down half on Tooru’s bed, face pressed against the sheets. He’s clutching Tooru’s hand tightly; his hand twitches when Tooru moves his fingers. He’s dozing, eyes closed and expression light, wearing the same clothes he was in when he dropped Tooru off this morning and  _ promised  _ he’d be there when Tooru wakes up. 

Tooru turns his attention over to his leg, a little afraid. He went into this surgery knowing it’s risky, knowing there’s a chance that it won’t go over well-

And holy shit, his leg hurts. He winces as he tries to move it, tries to wiggle his toes and pain blossoms up his leg but-

His toes move.

One at a time he wiggles them, his leg moving slowly, but still moving. Responding.

He can still move them.  _ It worked. _

He thought he’d been out of tears but it seems not as his eyes start to water, tears streaming down his face before the sobs start. He tries to quiet himself, muffling his cries with a hand over his mouth but he  _ can’t _ , he’s so relieved,  _ so relieved- _

“Tooru?” Hajime sits up, woken by Tooru’s cries, looking at him with a concerned, serious expression. “Hey, are you okay? Should I call the nurse-”

“ _ Hajime _ ,” Tooru cries, reaching for him and Hajime wastes no time in climbing up on his bed for a hug. Tooru clutches to him and shakes, crying into his neck. “I’m… I can move it still, Hajime. I - I  _ can _ -” He laughs as he cries, pulling back from Hajime and giving him a huge, blinding smile.

Hajime laughs, barely containing his own tears. 

They hug again before Hajime pulls back, grabbing his bag and giving Tooru a new set of gifts.

A pair of alien pajamas, gray and purple and even softer than the first pair.

A piece of milkbread, a recipe that Hajime now knows by heart.

His college work, and a card. 

A card signed by his college volleyball team, this time with “I love you - Hajime” signed right in the middle.

**Author's Note:**

> I really was unsure of this when I started but I am very happy with the final product. Thank you French for beta reading this for me, I really appreciate your help and comments! <3
> 
> Comments and kudos are very much appreciated! ~~Don't think they're not, because each one is really encouraging and motivating for me!~~
> 
> Come talk to me on my [tumblr](http://josai.tumblr.com/)!


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